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When their disillusioned young approach for tutelage he simply slurs. ‘Comeback to me when you can claim Jack Daniels as Kin, grasshoppers. The road to enlightenment cannot be bridged with a fully functioning liver.’ His belly droops like a stillborn fetus & his belches wake the dead, with drinking songs that outlive the classics, and when the students return, humbled & tipsy, Patron Saint deems them worthy with the greatest compliment he can bestow on their sodden likes, a baptismal flood of regurgitation, pastel colored fountain from a cavernous maw atop their heads, bowed in supplication, hot flood welcoming them home from their besotted Buddha. The first task, according to the master himself, was to strip their heads bare of all follicle fat, sacrificing individuality in a group oriented ritual of emasculation. They gathered atop that mountain of empties Patron Saint kept within his makeshift kingdom, the local dump, disciples balanced atop glass footholds in an inner circle of. By the way, turn here and my place is the first one on the left. As a matter of fact, about your big, fat ass, I said slowly, drawing her full attention, me, and a lot of other guys would consider ourselves lucky to be able to put teeth marks on one cheek and suck marks on the other cheek of your big, fat, SWEET ass. Oh, damn, youre good, would you please come in for a minute, maybe for a drink or something? she looked at me and asked as I came to a stop in her driveway. I would love to, but should I worry about your husband? I asked, trying to be overly dramatic. Oh hell no, hes out in Nebraska or some place, probably over a thousand miles away, come on in, she said with a smile. Okay, was my reply, but first, is there anything else I should know about you before I go into your house? Well… yes, I might as well tell you that Im not really a blonde, as youll hopefully discover anyway, if you come into my house. I didnt catch on to what she just said until later. As we entered her.
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